1. Honey Boo-Boo.
Only in America can an episode of a reality-TV show about an obese redneck family that farts a lot get higher cable TV ratings than the U.S. presidential election of 2013
2. This Woman.
One in five Americans can’t find their own country on a map. Clearly it’s because we don’t have maps, according to South Carolina’s #1 professional bikini-wearer.
3. The food culture.
Because not only do Americans eat the most food, but we pride ourselves on inventing and consuming the grossest food in human history and export it worldwide so everyone can enjoy it!
4. Not Taking Care of our fellow Americans.
We're a nation so obsessed with war and conquest, even while claiming to adhere to a pacifistic religion and to hold freedom and liberty as tantamount human values.
Yet, we are a nation so unwilling to care for the sick and the poor that the soldiers we spend so much money on while they're in service are impoverished and without adequate mental or physical care once they're no longer active. We will spend such vast sums of money on what we call defense - which is, quite literally, maintenance of an empire (50,000 troops in Germany? excuse me, is it still the 40s?) - yet bicker over spending fractions of the same amount on keeping American citizens healthy safe and well.
5. Pipe Dream Mentality and Lack of Socialist Courage
We let our national infrastructure crumble, we let special interest groups literally buy our elected officials, we allow the wealthy to continually reach new heights of wealth that exceed ethically justifiable. Our poor and middle class are even convinced by the wealthy that they, too, can some day have a piece of that pie, and so they should protect the interests of the wealthy first, since some day they might join the club. I hear people in other countries say things like... we just hate America's leaders, not Americans. I have news for you. About half of the people in this country are JUST LIKE those leaders. So thanks for the generosity of spirit, but it's not justified.
6. America Has The Highest Incarceration Rate In The World
There isn’t a single country in the world that is devoid of crime. Protecting law abiding citizens poses unique challenges in terms of catching, convicting and imprisoning law breakers, as well as preventative measures. The United States of America seems to have mastered at least some obstacles normally posed by these challenges as visible by their incarceration rate… or they have a flawed justice system that is eager to imprison individuals. America has the highest incarceration rate in the world, with 743 people jailed per 100,000 people. Not even more strict military states have a imprisonment rate as high. America beats Russia who has the second highest imprisonment at 582 per 100,000 people.
7. Religion
Following the attacks of September 11, 2001, Americans became incredibly vocal against something called "Islamist Extremism" Every American had an opinion about this new danger to America - everyone sounding off about how backwards Muslims were because of their religious zeal. Ahem. Pot, meet Kettle.
Of course, hypocrisy knows no bounds in this great country of ours and Americans just love pointing out in others the very faults that make us **** so much. Really? Muslims are zealous? I'm not saying they aren't, but I think it's fair to say that, as far as religious fundamentalism goes, we're probably tied for first with our friends in the Middle East. Abortion clinic bombings, hate crimes against ***********, the Klan, prejudices - all of these have roots in the engrained American Judaeo-Christian orthodoxy.
Native American genocide, slavery, anti-Chinese leagues, etc, etc, etc. In modern times, the good Judeo-Christian men and women of America make sure that ***********, Muslims, Indians, atheists, communists, and everyone else who holds beliefs different from the American way are perfectly aware that they are NOT welcome. No, we're not burning women in masses for witchcraft anymore, nor have we flown any planes into the cultural centers of any Islamic nations (er, wait a minute), but we do like to occasionally beat, maim, and murder *********** and tie them to fences. heck, yeah! *** LOVES US!
8. Being Always Right
If there is one thing we Americans love more than fast food, football, and/or ***, it's being "right." If you're reading this and you're not an American, perhaps you've recognized this aspect of the American character. You know, how Americans will argue just about anything? What's more, you've probably also noticed that in those arguments, in spite of anything else, being "right" is more important that fickle things like logical facts or actual empirical data. If you're reading this and you're an American, chances are you're thinking something along this lines of, "this ****** bag doesn't know what the **** he's talking about."
9. Sprawl
Americans may not have invented urban sprawl, but dammit if we didn't perfect it. Nothing says American "*********" like the suburban wastelands that surround our cities. There are literally hundreds of thousands of square miles in the US that look exactly the same - full of strip malls, franchise restaurants, gas stations, and Pleasantville-like subdivisions with completely b.s. names like "Meadow Lakes," "River Run," "Hillside Terrace," or "Beaver Dam." Of course, none of these places contain any such landscapes - no lakes, no rivers, no terraces, and they killed all the beavers when they built it.
10. Consumerism
One thing that ca