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Pretty old but I thought i might as well put it up. Remember to take note of commandment 2, any non-believers and believers out there. I done this with a christian friend of mine and came out conforming to the commandments more than him strangely enough 0o. oh well, all a bit of fun.

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The ***** of this one is a little misleading, or at least cryptic. I am of course not a good Christian in the sense that I believe that Jesus was half man, half ***, but I do believe I am a good Christian compared to a lot of Christians.

It's not that I don't believe that the teachings of Jesus wouldn't make this a better world if they were followed. It's just that they are rarely followed.

Gandhi summed it up really. He said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

I have always felt this way, even when I believed in ***, and in a weird way I feel I am still a pretty good "Christian" who doesn't believe in ***.

So many Christians think that because they believe in the right ***, they are automatically good and have a one-way ticket to everlasting life. Dare I say it but I suspect this is their main reason for believing. I've heard so many "believers" say, "Well, since there is no way of being sure whether there is a *** or not, it's better to believe in *** than not, because that way, if you're wrong it doesn't matter and if you're right you get everlasting life." Win:win.

This is of course Pascal's Wager, which ******* that *** if he exists would reward blind faith above logic and living a good life as an atheist.

To the Christians' *** by the way, it's just as bad to believe in the wrong *** as no *** at all. The idea of other **** is of course ridiculous to Christians. Supernatural poppycock. As if there was ever a Zeus; stupid, ancient, unenlightened superstition. And even if there are other **** (which of course there aren't) then the Christians' *** is the best. *******, smartest...just better. He would laugh at Zeus and call him a Greek bender. (I doubt that *** is racist and ********** but the Bible isn't clear. Some bits go on about love and equality and others say you shouldn't trust certain types and that laying down with a man as you would with a woman is punishable by death and is a bit sick and evil.)

So remember. If you are *** you are "******* for Satan" basically. (That would make quite a good T-shirt.)

Jesus was a man. (And if you forget all that rubbish about being half ***, and believe the non-supernatural acts accredited to him, he was a man whose wise words many other men would still follow.) His message was usually one of forgiveness and kindness.

These are wonderful virtues, but I have seen them discarded by many so-called ***-fearers when it suits them. They cherry pick from their "rulebook" basically. I have seen such cruelty and prejudice performed in the name of Christianity (and many other religions for that matter) that it makes me wonder if there has been a bit too much selective reading and reinterpretation of the doctrines.

*** or not, if I could change one thing for a better world, it would be for all mankind to adhere to this little gem: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I ****** you, no more stones would ever be thrown.

So maybe we should go back to basics to find out where it all got confused...

The Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments are found in the Bible's Old Testament; Exodus, Chapter 20. They were given directly by *** to the people of Israel at Mount Sinai after He had delivered them from slavery in Egypt:

"And *** spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the LORD your ***.'"

So let's take the test. How many of these have you broken?

ONE

"You shall have no other **** before Me."

I definitely do not. Excellent. I get one point.

TWO

"You shall not make for yourself a carved image -- any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth."

This basically means don't make or worship a religious statue or bow to it thinking that it's holy. Tick. Another point to me.

THREE

"You shall not take the name of the LORD your *** in vain."

I never do. But let me explain something. Most people think that The Third Commandment means that they shouldn't use his name as a swear word, e.g. shouting, "Oh ***!" when they stub their toe instead of, "Oh ****!"

This is not the case (although I love the idea that *** would rather them shout "****" than "***". That makes him cool in my book. But no.)

The commandment could equally be, "You shall not take the name of the LORD your *** in 'vanity'," e.g. when your enemy is hurt or defeated saying, "that's ***'s wrath," or when you win an award saying, "thank ***." This is using his name in vanity. It's suggesting that you KNOW that *** helped you win that award because you deserved it more, or because he was on your side. It's always tickled me that *** would have a favourite actor at The Golden Globes.

Anyway I get another point. I think most non-atheists will lose a point here.

FOUR

"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy."

Before we score this we need to discover what it really means when *** commands us to keep the Sabbath day holy. In understanding our answer, and the true intent of ***'s word, it doesn't matter what day of the week we celebrate the Sabbath. There were no calendars when *** created the heavens and the earth so we don't know what day he started and *****. Don't let the "day" become more important than the "intent".

If we look at the portion of The Ten Commandments which refers to this, Exodus 20:8-11, it seems to be very specific;

8 "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 "Six days you shall labour and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath of the Lord your ***; in it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male or your female servant or your cattle or your sojourner who stays with you. 10 "For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and made it holy. 11 "The Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

According to the Bible, *** commanded us to keep it holy. But what does that really mean? Work is basically referring to that which we do to earn a living, or in working around the house, or any labour we participate in daily. So, if we never worked at all would that mean every day was holy? No. This absolutely is not being holy. In various places in the Bible we are told of our need to work, for in our work we honour ***. So...basically you have to work for the equivalent of six days a week with a day off.

I do this. I get another point.

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39 Answers

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not all christians are like that, i'm no racist everyone is different and are free to belive in any *** or just dont belive in any ***, my family and friends are like that, and I had made friends from other religions
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Morals and ethics are learned attitudes and behaviors just so reason and empathy. One does not give birth to the other. If reason and empathy are your **** then what about common sense? Reason should at least give birth to common sense. So why was it that *** had to call Moses aside and tell him to instruct the ******** of Israel to carry a paddle with them when they went abroad? The Lord said to Moses, and I paraphrase, Look I like to walk about the camps in the evening when everything is settled down and I DO NOT WANT TO STEP IN IT. So tell them to dig a **** and cover it up.
You atheists seem to think that mankind is something other than what *** says he is.
Mankind is basically evil and stupid.
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Actually people who don't believe in *** can still read an interpret religious text and take what is good from them.

I tested myself based on this because it was something my friend asked me after reading this; consider it a philosophical discussion with a theoretical situation thrown in. the test was: how good would i follow the 10 commandments if i was to become christian? :)
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The point in testing himself, was to point out the silliness of some of it. It should also be pointed out, that while *** is commanding us not to worship graven images, or thank him for our Golden Globe Awards; he says nothing about **** or *****-abuse. He takes no position against slavery. Are these, then to be considered righteous?
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You know fully well that the Lord covered in detail His commandments concerning ****, ***** abuse, slavery, incest, murder, accidental homicide, ********, theft of property, juvenile delinquency, and this list doesn't even scratch the surface. The ten commandments is the syllabus of ***'s book of commandments. The mission statement if you please.
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You're right. I stand corrected.
Deuteronomy 22:28-29

"If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her."

What kind of lunatic would make a **** victim marry her attacker? Answer: ***.

Exodus 21:7-11

When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the *** of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl's owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife. If he fails in any of these three ways, she may leave as a free woman without making any payment."

Leviticus 20:9

"All who curse their father or mother must be put to death. They are guilty of a capital offense."

So there you have it. **** laws regarding slavery, ***** abuse and ****. I don't know about you, but I feel much better now. (sarcasm alert)
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And so we come finally to the real reason atheists' reject any knowledge of JHWH. You don't want to come under His authority and live according to His laws. So be it.
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I don't want **** victims to be forced to marry the person who ***** them. I don't want ******** put to death, for getting mad at mommy and daddy, as all kids do at some point. I don't want slavery to be allowed.
Clearly his laws are evil, and are unfit for any modern culture. Obviously, there are some laws IN the Bible against killing and stealing; which are good, but those are not "**** laws" in a Judeo-Christian sense. Those laws were in effect with the Egyptians and sumarians, long before the Ten Commandments were ever handed down. And other than those who ARE religious, all the laws about taking his name in vain, or putting no other **** before him; those laws have nothing to do with right or wrong. They're only about stroking the ego of your deity. Same with the Sabbath, or graven images.
On the subject of taking the name of the Lord in vain; most religious people are the biggest offenders of THAT commandment. Saying "***-dammit" when you smash your thumb with a hammer isn't what it's talking about. It's talking about using his name to glorify ones self. Like when a football player crosses himself in the ***-zone, or a musician thanks *** for HIS success; or worst of all, when people use the name of *** to justify violence or oppression.

My point is this: believers t...
I don't want **** victims to be forced to marry the person who ***** them. I don't want ******** put to death, for getting mad at mommy and daddy, as all kids do at some point. I don't want slavery to be allowed.
Clearly his laws are evil, and are unfit for any modern culture. Obviously, there are some laws IN the Bible against killing and stealing; which are good, but those are not "**** laws" in a Judeo-Christian sense. Those laws were in effect with the Egyptians and sumarians, long before the Ten Commandments were ever handed down. And other than those who ARE religious, all the laws about taking his name in vain, or putting no other **** before him; those laws have nothing to do with right or wrong. They're only about stroking the ego of your deity. Same with the Sabbath, or graven images.
On the subject of taking the name of the Lord in vain; most religious people are the biggest offenders of THAT commandment. Saying "***-dammit" when you smash your thumb with a hammer isn't what it's talking about. It's talking about using his name to glorify ones self. Like when a football player crosses himself in the ***-zone, or a musician thanks *** for HIS success; or worst of all, when people use the name of *** to justify violence or oppression.

My point is this: believers tend to think of themselves as being more righteous than non-believers, because they have a code of ethics handed down by *** himself. It isn't true. There are righteous and evil believers and non-believers. And those who serve humanity well, only because they are trying to get to Heaven, or to avoid ****; are not altruistic. They are doing what they think serves their best interests in the afterlife.
Still, if your religion motivates you to do good things for humanity, by all means, keep it up. Humanity is served by good deeds, regardless of their motives. Just don't think that people who do NOT have religious motives, are less ethical; or less altruistic.
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The point is to demonstrate that morals and ethics to not come from "obeying" commandments made up by humans and attributed to "***".

They come from Reason and Empathy.
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"So why was it that *** had to call Moses aside"

"***" didn't.
Becuase there is no ***. Moses probably made it up, because HE was tired of stepping in it.

You've made a brilliant point. Leaders learned that by saying "*** told me to tell you this", their good ideas got more results.

Mankind is basically evil and stupid AND good and intelligent.

We can be all those things, because we made up the words and the concepts.
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How does one not LOVE Ricky Gervaise. My friend Sam, a Methodist minister; likes to thank ***, every year at our Christmas party, that my other friend, Andrew and I stopped believing in ***, because we've been much better Christians ever-since.
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Hum.... I'll have to think this over. Gotta go to work now.

Okay, here we go...In the first place you are asking me to do something that you can't even do yourself. You can no more prove to me that *** doesn't exist than I can prove to you that He does,

Now on to the subject of mankind and what is he really? Man is basically evil. He is not 'good' and evil. He is evil. Evil is what man is. Now he can be taught to be 'good' and 'intelligent' once the parameters are established. But no matter how 'good' and 'intelligent' he learns to be... underneath all of that he is still evil. And that is why he needs ***.
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I blew the "covet" part. Like when Jasmine goes swimming with her top off. Can't help it.

blew covet jasmine swimming
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I understand, I lost a point on the "shall not murder" part - its so difficult.
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I killed a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
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That was my uncle Ted. See you soon!
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Here's the only picture we have of him. You *******!

ugly tranny
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**** dude, he looked a lot uglier than that when I met him. He should have stuck to drag.
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Since you don't believe in ***, what is the point in testing yourself by His commandments. Wanting to please or impress myself or those around me is non-relevant if I don't believe in ***. I however do believe *** Is and therefore it is very relevant for me to please The One I Love by obedience to His commandments. How did I do? By my own calculation I too made a slam dunk. Can I trust my own calculations? Perhaps I should ask The One Whose Love and Acceptance I Crave. He will have to tell me if He is pleased with my efforts or no. I follow no religion because they are man-made.
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hahaha
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I think Ricky misread the first commandment. Even *** isn't as full of himself as Ricky is. Ricky has a ***--and it's himself
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So you are saying because of an occasional incident in his long running show, Seinfeld makes his living the same way as Gervais? If so you have obviously never seen Seinfeld doing standup. His routine has much more then Ricky's insolent low *****--it's called TALENT.
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I've never heard him make such a claim. In fact, from what I've seen, he doesn't seem to see himself as anything more than a fortunate, but highly flawed human being.
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Of course he hasn't made a claim as such--few do. But he has an air and attitude about him that speaks resoundingly of it. And I'm ****** the only person to notice.
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I imagine you see that air in most self-******* people who don't believe in your ***. It's called self-confidence, not idolatry.
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It doesnt have a **** thing to do with my faith. The man comes across to me as a pompous, talentless snob who can't make a dime in show business unless he is being insulting or offensive. What the **** that has to do with my faith is only something YOU can imagine.
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What comedian doesn't do that?
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seinfeld jerry
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Most comics make fun of people and ideas. Ricky is no different. That his target here, is something you care about doesn't change the fact that he's no different than any other comic. It's his *** to point out the absurdities in life, and make them funny. And though YOU don't see the humor, doesn't mean he's failed. Not all comedy is for everybody.
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What you are failing to understand is that the content of this post has nothing to do with my opinion of Ricky Gervais. Yes, most comics make fun of people and ideas but there is usually more to their act. That's all there is to Ricky from what I've seen. I agree that not all comedy is for everyone. Some people probably find Seinfeld a snooze. But in the same way, I find Gervais to be nothing but pretentious and narcissitic and I would very likely come to the same conclusion if he were talking about the Olympics.
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I'm not failing to understand. I just don't care. You don't like Ricky Gervais, but you clicked on this anyway, just so you could come and ***** about what he's saying. If you don't like it, that's fine; but many of us do. Get over yourself.
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Well, I didn't realize the rule of ******** was you only go to threads were you have something nicey nice to say. Thanks for the ******** 101. I had no idea
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Obviously this isn't a rule. Just rational thinking.
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Yep you're right. You're the rational one and I'm incapable of it simply because I'm a person of faith. That's a new one! Zzzzz.........

But you obviously need to have the last word to "win" so your turn and then we're done. I'm bored as ****.
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No. Not because of your faith. Because you choose to spend your time spamming an article about a comedian you don't like, simply because you know he doesn't agree with you about religion. I don't care about your faith. Don't really care about your thoughts on Ricky Gervais either, but i do find it ammusing that you keep commenting on an article about him.
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The ten commandments are nothing but common sense, If one needs a diet to conform to them then I say they have an alterior motive to be good, Most christians are good only because of the fear of retribution or for personal gain (a reward in the future) , If one needs a Diety to be a good person then they lack the normal humanity that one should have......
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Wearing the gorilla suit again, was he?
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