ADVICE TO FEMALE *********: HOW TO DETECT A STALKER

Question

We all should be careful when getting too chummy with men on-line. Here on **, where we are usually anonymous, it may not be an issue. However, if some guy starts messaging you privately, comes on to you, asks for your phone number, you would be wise to realize that he is probably doing this with several other females as well. One thing you might do is to check his friend list and see if they are predominantly female. Some of these guys don't care about your age, whether you say you are married, whether you are involved in Christianity, Scientology, Jewish, Atheist, Agnostic, etc., even if they are not. These players are interested in anyone, and should be avoided like the plague.

You might call such a guy "a player", but if he is using ** to find vulnerable women, being that this isn't a dating site, I would call it 'stalking'.

Do you have any advice to share to help others detect a stalker on ********? Has something like this happened to you or someone you know?

Answer 1

Well, I wouldn't automatically classify someone fitting the given description as a 'stalker', per se; but using a site like this to troll for 'dates' (for lack of a better euphemism) is highly opportunistic, IMO.

As my Gram used to quote constantly; 'Beware ye, flatters.'

I definitely recommend not sharing pertinent personal info or too many details of your life; you just never know who's paying attention.




Lastly, if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable disengage from them, and use the block feature if needed. If they break any site rules by soliciting, verbally abusing or threatening you, report him or her to the mods.

Answer 2

"Ignore" is the key word.

Answer 3

Ignore them!

Answer 4

This really isn't a dating site. But I did notice when I did my profile, under "Looking For", friendship is a choice. That could be taken a few different ways.
Me? I have no interest in talking about ***, body parts, what turns you on, with anyone here. I know there are threads put up that are focused on that stuff. Also there are some here that we can identify that seem to trend toward that stuff. So my advice would be:
Be awake when you're reading and posting. Situational awareness. Know what's going on with the people you are involved with on-line. "Profile" these people and stay away. When you smell something, you probably are smelling something. Don't go where you can't handle what might come from it. And mostly, you don't have to answer anybody. You don't have to block. Just show some control. Do not engage.
Too easy.

Answer 5

The advice on this page is awesome. Thanks for this post.

Answer 6

Not that I disagree but there are female stalkers too.... (personal experience)

Answer 7

Wonderful advice, on this post. Thank you, Magical for the post. I take all advice to hear. Still everything posted is COMMON SENSE! I was stalked just after another ** woman warned me and I did not listen. Now when a woman here warns me I block the guy and that is that.

It needs to be said. Most of the Men and Women I have met on ** have been wonderful people the do not get too personal, and have been most respectful.

Answer 8

Is to be polite but reply platonicly! Also citing your happy marriage or wonderful significant other. Not flirt or act flattered in any way! If they continue. Ignore! Works for me so far! If it is over top from the get go! Delete and ignore immediately! Before stalking can begin. They will never be sure you got their messags in the first place then!

Answer 9

Ignore the weirdo's, male or female. I had some foreign guy trying to get me to send him money so he could start a business. I told him I did not have any money and I guess he lost interest lol.
Women can be stalkers also.

Answer 10

it doesn't even have to be an asking for a phone number ..
if the messages are unexpected ..
and rather creepy of an interest in you ..
show a tendency to raise the hair on the back of your neck ..

PLEASE do take the opportunity to use the safety valve available on this site
The BLOCK Feature ..
and yes,
also feel free to gather the links to what was done and that other too ..
and find a report of abuse below with your concerns ..
http://www.********.com/abuse/
(YES .. this is the link .. feel free to use it .. )

you shouldn't share overmuch your personal info on this site ..
be SAFE ..

Answer 11

But seriously, don't put up with it.
And Peapod nailed it!

Answer 12

Don't give out your phone number or your email address.
Best not to post any photos.
e-predators aka 'catfish' often claim to b engineers, salesmen, or some other job that requires lots of travel.
Just use your head.
If you ever do decide to meet one arrange to meet in a public place where you are well known, but not too close to your home. Arrive early and let friends and serving staff know that you are meeting someone for the first time and immediately call 911 if trouble occurs.

Answer 13

Be very careful who you trust and who you give your personal info to. I've learned
this the **** way. Certain obsessed and insecure men can use it to exploit you and revenge you if you refuse their advances.

Don't be the victim of a stalker! Warn the creep to get lost and if that don't stop him
report him and block him.

Answer 14

My first advice would be don't make **********... like just because they're a male private messaging a female DOES NOT in any way make a stalker... speaking of which why it the ********** the female is the innocent victim and the male is the aggressing stalker just for flirting? Isn't that falling into the age old stereotypes?


The truth of the matter is that ******** has had problems with trolls, stalkers and liers but that's about true for every single social website out there. Everyone needs protect themselves by following simple guidelines, of don't type/post/send anything you don't the whole world to know, meaning don't send out personal info. If you feel uncomfortable with something then get away from it or them, and if someone is bothering you then straight forward and bluntly tell them to leave you alone. If they don't then block them and report the abuse to ******** staff located at the very bottom of every page (I think).


And don't think you're the only one, don't think your alone, don't think you won't have support speaking up for yourself. I'm a guy and I've been stalked on ********... YES A GUY CAN BE STALKED TOO!!!... I've been stalked by both males and females... YES FEMALES CAN BE STALKERS AND ABUSERS TOO!!!! And all of us need to watch out for both oursel...

My first advice would be don't make **********... like just because they're a male private messaging a female DOES NOT in any way make a stalker... speaking of which why it the ********** the female is the innocent victim and the male is the aggressing stalker just for flirting? Isn't that falling into the age old stereotypes?


The truth of the matter is that ******** has had problems with trolls, stalkers and liers but that's about true for every single social website out there. Everyone needs protect themselves by following simple guidelines, of don't type/post/send anything you don't the whole world to know, meaning don't send out personal info. If you feel uncomfortable with something then get away from it or them, and if someone is bothering you then straight forward and bluntly tell them to leave you alone. If they don't then block them and report the abuse to ******** staff located at the very bottom of every page (I think).


And don't think you're the only one, don't think your alone, don't think you won't have support speaking up for yourself. I'm a guy and I've been stalked on ********... YES A GUY CAN BE STALKED TOO!!!... I've been stalked by both males and females... YES FEMALES CAN BE STALKERS AND ABUSERS TOO!!!! And all of us need to watch out for both ourselves and each other.


A stalker is someone that won't leave you alone after you told them to leave you alone or someone that's abusing your verbally or else wise which will probably be in the form of trolling on ********.

(more)

Answer 15

Well, I wouldn't automatically classify someone fitting the given description as a 'stalker', per se; but using a site like this to troll for 'dates' (for lack of a better euphemism) is highly opportunistic, IMO.

As my Gram used to quote constantly; 'Beware ye, flatters.'

I definitely recommend not sharing pertinent personal info or too many details of your life; you just never know who's paying attention.




Lastly, if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable disengage from them, and use the block feature if needed. If they break any site rules by soliciting, verbally abusing or threatening you, report him or her to the mods.

Answer 16

Very well said!

Answer 17

Thanks.

Answer 18

You are right - "Trolling for dates" is much more descriptive. You made some great points.

Answer 19

Thanks.

Answer 20

Never use your real name, never give away your address/phone number, block if necessary.

Answer 21

LOL

Answer 22

Anyone asking for phone numbers or any private info, blocked and reported. Guy or girl. Also why I don't answer some questions posted here, some questions are like they are fishing for private information.

Answer 23

And for boys too - lol!

Answer 24

It's not the men who have given me problems here but more like a few "out of their mind" women.

I'm clear on what to look for with men and they will know right away, I'm not someone who falls for it or takes anything from them.

My concern are the kids on here and how far the perverts will go with them and this is as the minors "post their age" and these people continue! As a criminal mind thinks & this is speaking of pervs, they don't stop until they're made to stop by the law or other means. Keep your eyes open in the polls and watch how the older guys try and seduce the younger ones with words. If you see it, step up, report them to ** (law enforcement issue) I think is choice to click. It's sick & that's in the polls. They probably go to PM shortly after that.

Answer 25

You just never know

Answer 26

Be careful when users want to know too much about your private life, and especially those who are too inquisitive.

There have been quite a few cases, in which young and older people lose their job, because they spread too much information of their private life or that of colleagues (which are not always favourable for their job or the principles of professionalism) on Internet Communities, or teens being abused (theft, for instance) or mobbed by pranksters and worse.

And also for those who have no problems in this regard, they have family members, friends, mates, colleagues or other acquaintances, which could be vulnerable.

Rely rather on people whom you know over a longer period and who are respecting you.

Nobody is really safe, if you remember that even high-ranking people, including internet experts, disposing of sophisticated ******** and software were hacked.

And don't hesitate to ask your ** support for advice, but observe strictly the rules of discretion.

Answer 27

By the way, many young people are not aware of their vulnerability. Sometimes, a kind advice with links for more information is better than turning them down too briskly.

Answer 28

how to Identify them?

Answer 29

Give yourself and your contacts enough time to know each other - don't rush things and go at your rhythm. Chat with the people you appreciate and take one step at a time.

I know that it is **** to be patient, but quality takes time.

Answer 30

it is great for girls, lol

Answer 31

Ok i will be patient.

Answer 32

At the first sign of ickishness, move on and don't look back.

Answer 33

Lol!

Answer 34

In real life I always carry an authentic police whistle on my key chain. I will never give anyone my phone number online. A little flirting is fun but if someone constantly keeps sending me personal messages; I ignore that person. Sometimes there are a few who sincerely like a person or are lonely but I never date anyone who is online. I often wonder how thorough date sites check their subscribers out.

Answer 35

Never post your real photo, never give out personal information, and if someone is making ****** advances and making you uncomfortable, block and report......

Answer 36

Never provide your personal information that could be used to identify and locate you to anyone.

Answer 37

Just block them, is all the advice I have...I get it a lot...

Answer 38

I haven't had a problem with a stalker on **. I don't think I have ever "flirted" here, nor been flirted with. That is my advice. Don't flirt (men or women) I know it is fun to flirt and comes naturally with someone you think you might like, but you have NO IDEA who is on the other ***. Don't put up your real pictures and especially not your provocative pictures. Don't give out personal information. If anyone says or does something out of the way, block them and / or report them if they freak you out.

Answer 39

That is such excellent advice! Thank you for your comments

Answer 40

Thanks Magical!

Answer 41

Happened a couple times. I report them and block them.