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A friend of mine just wrote to me about some concerns she's having regarding her husband and 17 1/2 year old daughter. I told her I'd post the question here and see how people respond. Personally...I'm a big fan of intuition. If it makes her uncomfortable then maybe it's worth looking into a little more carefully.

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41 Answers

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way past time for this type of father and daughter bonding to have *****....
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thank you
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Sounds kind of weird. Jeez, I don't think me and my dad have ever even watched a movie together o__O let alone done anything like *that*
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It depends on a lot of unknowns.....
It is obviously not your friend's daughter and I wonder how long he was a single father raising his daughter or if she just entered back into his life.
They may have a close bond because they are all they had to lean on.

Hopefully its intuition that is driving your friend to question the situation and not jealousy.
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This thing didn't just start.It has been going on for waaaaaaay too long and the father should have stopped it by the time the girl was about 3 or 4.
Hugs and kisses can go on forever but getting horizontal is for babies and not ***** offspring.What is wrong with the girls mother?
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That stopped for me when I was 9. 17 is too old to be doing that
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Single sentence description? Uhhhmmmm - like others, I have a lot of questions. Is this something new, or has it been going on forever? Does this happen frequently, or just a one-time thing? Is there any furtiveness involved? What is this position, exactly?

I've seen a lot of people do some pretty strange things. Usually, there's some kind of acceptable explanation. Not always, but usually.
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WAY CREEPY~!~
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I agree Michael.
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I would have to see them in order to make any judgments. But the mom needs to address it if she believes it is a problem.
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Very inappropriate.
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DEFINITELY CREEPY!
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I guess it would depend on the culture. But personally I would never be that close with my daughter, or any (non-marital,) female member of my family.
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I regret cilcking aw sweet it can be creepy but at the same time
can't be .
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hehehehe ~ i will take that as Creepy:-)
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Okay.
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If it feels wrong, it usually is.
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They are one step away from incest. Its entirely inappropriate.
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If it makes her uncomfortable there's probably a reason. It seems a bit wrong at that age, usually only **** up real quick for money or to get something then take off.
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As a teen we all we piled on top of my mom, whenever she laid down on the couch.A couple of my boys do it when we watch t.v. and my nephew and his dad have always been publicly affectionate whether watching t.v. or whatever. I love it, because I KNOW it is not ****** or anything creepy like that. Unfortuanately, we DO have so many creeps and perverts in society that try to pass of what they do as 'nnormal.'
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It seems pretty weird. I know we don't have all the information like alot of people are saying, but it just seems inappropriate, especially since she's basically grown. I think past a kid being pretty little, it seems inappropriate. I mean, it can't possibly be comfortable either to have a practically grown person lay on top of you for a whole movie either, so yeah, it just seems really weird.
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My daughter has a friend that does this sort of thing with her dad also, I think it`s creepy, but probably the girl hasn`t grown up enough mentally yet, not ready to let go of the daddy`s little girl phase! Because nobody normal would want to cuddle up with their fathers for any other reasons other than cuddling! If the dad was doing anything weird other than cuddling the girl would probably not go anywhere near her dad after that!
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Going with my gut on this.
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If she is 6 or 9 that is not if she is 17 creely and to close
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Well I'm 13, and me and my dad are pretty close. But I've never even slept in my parents bed past the age of 1 year old. I find it weird if we even hug for a long time. So yes, I find that... Creepy.
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now and then I hold hands with my dad and I'm 24 but like for 2 minutes and go along my way so the fact that they can hold hands that long is weird
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Maybe I say this because I'm from the least touchy-feely family I know, but that's a little creepy. But overall, you might not have the full or accurate version of what happened (people can tend to exaggerate), so it might not be a good situation to pass judgement on just yet.
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Thanks for all the responses. I sent the link to this to my friend and it's up to her how she wants to deal with it.
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I am a believer of intuitions because i have lots of instances that intuitions are proven true (in my case), but since this case is stated this way, i mean in a way that the first thing people will think is that the father-daughter relationship is creepy because of how it is stated in here and it is normal of us to be judgmental sometimes. But what i can say it, because of the daughter's age, i think no matter how affectionate or sweet they(father/daughter) are to each other, this kind of gesture should not be done because it's indeed awkward and creepy, in one way or another, it will really cause something bad to the family.
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Im not sure. My own mother and I act sort of like this. My mom may be 35 but she acts like she's my age sometimes. We still cuddle up on the couch and watch movies, we play fight, and we joke around.
Me and my mother are every close and act more like sisters than mother daughter but it may be a little weird for the same behavior toward a male relative. My brother and I are close but you wont catch me cuddling up with him during a movie. If the mother feels uncomfortable she should do something about it. Watch them more closely for now, if it gets out of hand talk to them about it, and if it REALLY gets out of hand call the cops.
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no....just no.
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That's creepy as ****, and if I were her, I'd look further into the matter
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It may have been cute when she was 2, 5, maybe even 8 years old.....but hey buddy she's gotta grow up and you've gotta let go. Why dont you lay with your wife like that and it'll be more acceptable
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The only time as a teenager I ever did anything like that was when I was 17, sick as a dog, but wanted to watch Doctor Who with my dad, like we did every week, and could barely sit up. And even then, more leaning against than lying on top of. I act like a ***** when I get really sick, and all I want is someone to take care of me. Even now... although now it's more staying in bed all day with the cat, then phoning my dad and asking him to bring me soup... and he does, because he's wonderful, then he feeds the cats, and checks in with me regularly to make sure I'm not dying.

But if that's a regularly occurring thing at that age... a bit creepy. Of course, there aren't a whole lot of details there, so I could be missing some key facts, and it may just be innocent affection... I mean, I'm pretty **** close with my father, even well into my 20s, we don't "cuddle," but the way it's described here is too vague to really pass judgement.
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I need way more information. Is the young woman actually laying directly on top of him? Or was the statement over exaggerated? Seems it would be a very uncomfortable position to be in to watch a movie together. Are they just sort of laying together on the couch or floor? Does the Mother have a psychological problem herself, like maybe she was molested by her father as a young girl? I have cousins that, back in the day when I was a young teenager, when my family would go visit, we'd ALL gather in the family room and play instruments and sing, even badly, but time spent together was fun! Then sometimes we would all lay on the floor with pillows and popcorn and watch movies! And yes my cousin, same age as me and female, would cuddle with her Dad, and my younger male cousin would lay his head in his Mom's lap, and the Mom would have her head on her husband's shoulders, and it was all very impressive to me how much that family loved each other. And yes, sometimes just the father and daughter would snuggle up in front of the T.V. Never heard of anything inappropriate about the family from any family member. My family wasn't close like that. I wish they had been. My more favorite times was when we visited my cousins. My Mother wouldn't let me be close with my father. Later in life I ...
I need way more information. Is the young woman actually laying directly on top of him? Or was the statement over exaggerated? Seems it would be a very uncomfortable position to be in to watch a movie together. Are they just sort of laying together on the couch or floor? Does the Mother have a psychological problem herself, like maybe she was molested by her father as a young girl? I have cousins that, back in the day when I was a young teenager, when my family would go visit, we'd ALL gather in the family room and play instruments and sing, even badly, but time spent together was fun! Then sometimes we would all lay on the floor with pillows and popcorn and watch movies! And yes my cousin, same age as me and female, would cuddle with her Dad, and my younger male cousin would lay his head in his Mom's lap, and the Mom would have her head on her husband's shoulders, and it was all very impressive to me how much that family loved each other. And yes, sometimes just the father and daughter would snuggle up in front of the T.V. Never heard of anything inappropriate about the family from any family member. My family wasn't close like that. I wish they had been. My more favorite times was when we visited my cousins. My Mother wouldn't let me be close with my father. Later in life I found out why. I feel because her father screwed up her mind, it cost me a loving relationship with my own Father, a kind, sweet and caring man. My mother had a wonderful way of making me feel less than human. So, considering I can't see for myself the situation in question, I can't judge it. And neither should anyone else.
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Very creepy and sick.
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That's not normal
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In no way is this appropriate. I don't know what 'magical age' this should stop, as I was ******** abused by my own father. My vision is a bit skewed in the daddy/daughter relationship department. I'm married and have a daughter of my own now. If I so much as suspected something wasn't right, I'd be all over it. Screw hurting someone's feelings, your ******** come first. If someone is hurting them, husband/father/grandfather/un... doesn't matter. You protect your ********.
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Not in any way natural behaviour, but i can't pass judgement without knowing more. Perhaps the father needs to be told by his wife to stop such things, she is aware of the dangers obviously.
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Why does this have to be creepy? Perhaps they are innocently affectionate.

I read these comments, that at age 12, this sort of thing should stop. Both my boys are physically affectionate with me. They love to snuggle, and hug and and just touch me. So my eldest is 11, in 6 months do I push him away. Reject his affections because he is now 12??
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lotta details needed fer sure...... if they are fully dressed is one thing.............if in jammies you can bet something is a tad wrong......
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